LDS Singles - LDS Dating

The Patience of Job


Voltaire said, "God is a comedian playing to an audience afraid to laugh." Translated, if you're a tight ass, there's a two drink minimum to read this article.

Let me just say, I believe in God but like many, I've questioned His existence. Most people will say the reason they doubt God's existence is because, "If there's a God, why is there so much suffering, and why is there war?" Blah, Blah, blah, blah blah?

My sole reason for doubting the existence of God is work. (I, however, never question the existence of a higher power for I worship at his altar every day from 9 to 5.)

If there is a God why do we not have five-day weekends and two-day workweeks? He's God. He can make it happen. In God we trust, right? Well I trust in God to give us a five-day weekend.

Think of the positives of a two-day work week. You'd say things like, "Wow, that workweek really flew bye."

Think of what it would do for the economy because as Americans what are we really, but consumers? Think of it this way. If the United States Senate can get away with only working 110 days a year, why can't we?

Women will have five full days a week to shop, and tell men what to do. Maybe, just maybe, we'll have more time to spend with our kids so they don't remain a bunch of illiterate crack heads.

More people might believe in heaven because life on earth won't be such a living hell.

I believe, with faith, God will grant us my wish. Let me illustrate through the Bible. Isn't it ironic that in the book of the Bible where the name of the person who suffers the most is spelled J.O.B.?

The story of Job is one of perseverance. Job is given leprosy, has his family, money and worldly possessions taken from him and it's all a test of faith. It is a horrible story! I didn't like it when I read it but I said. "Fine, He's God. He can do what He wants. After all, it is His world. Like Job, who am I to question?"

What I can question are employers playing the part of God by expecting us to have the patience of Job in order to keep our job. They may not be giving us infectious diseases but they are sure taking our money, ruining our personal lives, and making work a living hell. (Personally, I don't have the patience of Job. I'm like the Prodigal Son--at the first sign of a party I'm off to the fatted cow happy hour for half-price matzoh and dollar shots of Manishevitz. If I need some bread I'll come back in the morning crawling on my hands and knees.)

In the Book of Job, Job finally said, "Hey God, how bout a little something for the effort?" God responded, "Don't question my authority but you're right. I have been a little harsh on you." Job then had all his riches returned ten-fold. Now that's pretty just, is it not?

Well, I'm asking, "Hey God, how bout a five-day weekend, for the heck of it?" (If you see me on the golf course mid-week you'll know God answered my prayers.)

Michael P. Westhead is the founder of www.cutthroatcomedy.com which features original quotes, jokes, cartoons, products, and articles focusing on politics, current events and life in general.



Sponsors of LDS Singles

   

 






MORE RESOURCES:

Kotaku

Has South Park's Humor Changed, Or Have We?
Kotaku
I think that part of this remove, part of the contradiction and the confusing-ness of South Park in general comes from the fact that it is really fundamentally straight white guy humor. It's this type of humor—and I engage in this humor all the time ...
South Park: The Fractured But Whole Yells At You If You Try To CheatKotaku

all 105 news articles »


New York Times

Need a Good Laugh? Check Out Some 17th-Century Dutch Art
New York Times
Jokes, and particularly coarse or bawdy humor, were apparently central to the life and art of the Dutch 17th century, according to a new exhibition at the Frans Hals Museum here, “The Art of Laughter: Humor in the Golden Age” which runs from Nov.



Business Insider

A sense of humor could mean you're healthier, happier, and smarter ...
Business Insider
Evidence suggests that having a good sense of humor is linked to high emotional intelligence and is a highly desirable quality in a partner.

and more »


Letter: Was cartoon humor or propaganda?
Record-Courier
A recent Record-Courier (online only) cartoon shows President Trump atop a piece of earth-moving equipment named 'Subsidy Cuts' recklessly undermining Obamacare. What provoked this 'fake news' cartoon is that the president has, by executive order, ...

and more »


HuffPost

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Tackles Chemo With Humor, Grit And Katy Perry
HuffPost
In an Instagram she posted Thursday, the “Veep” and “Seinfeld” star struck a feisty note dressed in a funny getup of hoodie, sunglasses and drawn-on mustache. She wrote that she had just finished her second round of chemotherapy, quoting Katy Perry's ...
The way Julia Louis-Dreyfus is fighting her cancer with humor can help women everywhereSalon
Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Cancer Treatment Update Shows She's Not Letting Chemo Stop Her Sense Of Humor — PHOTOBustle
'NOT f***ing around': Julia Louis-Dreyfus shares humorous photo after chemotherapy treatment to fight breast cancerDaily Mail
PEOPLE.com -TooFab
all 113 news articles »


Madison.com

'Breathe' is a movie about illness faced with humor and fortitude ...
Madison.com
Breathe” avoids falling into the trap of either being an “issue” film or a manipulative tearjerker about a hero with a fatal disease.
'Breathe' ignores all the inspirational movie clichesThe Daily Herald

all 101 news articles »


News3LV

Salute Our Troops | Local Army veteran uses unique sense of humor to serve other veterans
News3LV
Our nominee this month is someone who served decades in the Army, has a big heart, and also has a unique sense of humor. He's now using that humor to serve other veterans in Las Vegas. Tom Daw's story begins not unlike many others. "I was in the ...



whatcomtalk.com

Second Annual “Humor for Housing” Raises More Than Laughter for a Good Cause
whatcomtalk.com
On November 8 from 6:00-8:00 p.m., Lydia Place and The Upfront Theatre will partner to take a serious stand for homeless families at the second annual Humor for Housing. Presented by Pysden Team at Caliber Home Loans, this comedic event is an annual ...



Good humor aplenty
The Nation
I feel humbly privileged to have been born in a family known for wielding either a sword or the pen. One of our distant kin was the great writer A. R. Khatoon - my mother's aunt through a complicated relationship. Our homes in Lahore were on Lawrence ...



Buffalo News

Editor's Choice: Just how funny are the Trump humor books?
Buffalo News
Among the countless things that distinguish humor professionals from humor consumers is the idea that the Trump years make humor easy. Not so. Quite the opposite. Every day's White House insanity is so beyond the pale that it does two things: 1) leaves ...


Google News

home | site map
www.lds-singles.net © 2007