LDS Singles - LDS Dating

Wanted: Treadmill for an Elephant


Maggie, the 22 year-old African elephant, has been a resident of the Alaska Zoo since 1983. The Zoo recently decided that Maggie needs nicer quarters, more attention, and a treadmill. She weighs 9,100 pounds and does not get enough exercise, especially during the long Alaskan winter months.

Alaska Zoo officials debated this past year about whether to keep Maggie. She has been the only elephant in the zoo since 1997 when her companion of 14 years, Annabelle, died. Some experts believe that in order to be healthy and happy a zoo elephant should be part of a small herd of 3 or more.

The Zoo's elephant committee decided that the risks of moving Maggie out of state and of totally changing her life were too great. Besides, she seems happy here and she has a familiar "herd" in Alaska already. Numerous Zoo officials, animal handlers and exercisers, and familiar frequent visitors spend many hours a day with her.

In order to increase Maggie's comfort and health, zoo officials decided to give Maggie's living quarters softer flooring and better ventilation. Zoo staff will also increase the number of hours that they spend with Maggie from 8 hours daily to 12 to 16 hours daily.

Finally, the Zoo will help Maggie get more year-round exercise and lose weight. They will purchase an elephant-sized treadmill. However, nobody has ever designed or built an elephant treadmill. Designs are being developed now, but if you have any good ideas bring them forward.

Then stand in line behind me to watch Maggie work out on her new treadmill.

Can you imagine the elephant-sized headphones and iPod that she'll need?

*****************************

Garry Gamber is a public school teacher and entrepreneur. He writes articles about real estate, health and nutrition, and internet dating services. He is the owner of http://www.Anchorage-Homes.com and http://www.TheDatingAdvisor.com.



Sponsors of LDS Singles

   

 






MORE RESOURCES:

Billboard

David Letterman Receives Mark Twain Prize for American Humor In Star-Studded Ceremony
Billboard
There are all kinds of funny. David Letterman has a brand of humor of his own, and because of this, the comedic former late-night host was this year's recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. His honor drew a stellar swath of comedy to the ...
David Letterman receives Mark Twain Prize for humorPBS NewsHour
David Letterman Honored With Mark Twain Prize for American HumorNBCNews.com
David Letterman, celebrated late-night TV host, receives US humor prizeReuters
10TV -YouTube
all 120 news articles »


Inside Edition

Woman Confronts Breast Cancer Diagnosis With Optimism And ...
Inside Edition
Earlier this summer, Kambri Crews felt a lump in her breast and knew something wasn't right. She went to her doctor and had a biopsy, which confirmed her ...

and more »


The Aggie

Humor: Archaeology professor introduces students to “The Bone Zone”
The Aggie
you lack creativity and humor. “Why would a serious professor create a space like this… and name it that?” What do you mean, name it that? You got a problem with the name? Well you can go ahead and click the exit button, buddy, because I don't have ...



Letter: Trump lacks ability for self-effacing humor
Chico Enterprise-Record
In the Middle Ages it was the boy-bishop ceremony. A boy, most often a chorister, was chosen to parody the bishop. Then there was the Feast of Fools and the Lord of Misrule. In all of these ceremonies — limited in time to a day at most — those in ...

and more »


Business Insider

A sense of humor could mean you're healthier, happier, and smarter ...
Business Insider
Evidence suggests that having a good sense of humor is linked to high emotional intelligence and is a highly desirable quality in a partner.

and more »


HuffPost

Julia Louis-Dreyfus Tackles Chemo With Humor, Grit And Katy Perry
HuffPost
In an Instagram she posted Thursday, the “Veep” and “Seinfeld” star struck a feisty note dressed in a funny getup of hoodie, sunglasses and drawn-on mustache. She wrote that she had just finished her second round of chemotherapy, quoting Katy Perry's ...
The way Julia Louis-Dreyfus is fighting her cancer with humor can help women everywhereSalon
Julia Louis-Dreyfus' Cancer Treatment Update Shows She's Not Letting Chemo Stop Her Sense Of Humor — PHOTOBustle
Julia Louis-Dreyfus shows she still has her humor in a chemo update that her fans lovedRare.us
Daily Mail -PEOPLE.com -TooFab
all 113 news articles »


The Aggie

Humor: When you should plan to get sick during the quarter system
The Aggie
If you're reading this, you're probably planning on getting sick at some point in the quarter. You might not know it, but trust me, it's coming. So I suggest you sit down, pop a vitamin C and whip out your schedule, because it's meticulous planning ...



Daily Free Press

REVIEW: David Sedaris reads as he writes, with empathy, hysterical humor
Daily Free Press
David Sedaris appears at Symphony Hall Wednesday night after publishing “Theft by Finding.” PHOTO COURTESY STEVEN BARCLAY AGENCY. The urgency of gastrointestinal distress has never sounded as delightfully funny and articulately spoken as it ...



Kotaku

Has South Park's Humor Changed, Or Have We?
Kotaku
I think that part of this remove, part of the contradiction and the confusing-ness of South Park in general comes from the fact that it is really fundamentally straight white guy humor. It's this type of humor—and I engage in this humor all the time ...
South Park: The Fractured But Whole Yells At You If You Try To CheatKotaku

all 105 news articles »


New York Times

Need a Good Laugh? Check Out Some 17th-Century Dutch Art
New York Times
Jokes, and particularly coarse or bawdy humor, were apparently central to the life and art of the Dutch 17th century, according to a new exhibition at the Frans Hals Museum here, “The Art of Laughter: Humor in the Golden Age” which runs from Nov.


Google News

home | site map
www.lds-singles.net © 2007