LDS Singles - LDS Dating

Use The Power of Focus When You Want To Get A Date


The Importance of Focus

People are always looking for ways to win over somebody they are interested in. Often times when you lose the opportunity, it has nothing to do with your ability to close. The only secrets to closing more is by focusing more on your target more, believing in yourself, and having the proper attitudes and body language. You are either 100% congruent or you aren't.

Focusing on a person you wish to pick up goes far beyond the words coming out of your mouth. Your focus directly affects your body language, your tone, and your messages. These are three of the key factors that people use to determine if they like you and if you can enrich their life.

Focusing on who you are interested in picking up means that you are actively listening and that you personally care about them. These things can not be faked. You must truly want to listen and you must truly care about helping them. That is the only secret to really winning somebody over.

Body language will show that you are focused on your who you are interested in. Your target will detect your body language even if they are not aware of it consciously. We teach the proper body langauge in our workshops. When you are engaged in a conversation with who you are picking up and you remain focused, it can be nothing but positive body language.

The same is true for your tone of voice. If you are listening with the intent to understand, instead of listening with the intent to respond, then that amount of personal attention will reflect in the tone of your voice. The tone of your voice, like your body language, plays a role in how well someone receives your message.

The content of your message will naturally be in-line with what the person you are picking up would like to hear if you focus on them and nothing else. When you are in-sync with this person you are picking up,

then your target will guide the conversation all the way to the commitment to close the deal.

Here are eight ways to ensure you are focusing on your customer:

1. Relax.

2. Find out something personal about who you are interested in dating.

3. Call them by their first name a few times.

4. Find out some reasons WHY they are interested in you and refer back to those reasons often.

5. Listen to understand the meaning of what it is they are saying. Pay special attention to their body language.

6. If you catch yourself formulating a response before they finish talking, this means that you are not listening.

7. Look your target in the eye.

8. Get your mind right. Why do YOU want to win over this person? If the answer is just to make the sale, then start here.

You need to care about this person you want personally and care about being with them before you can ask them to be with you. A lot of people are well intentioned but lose focus of their target somewhere during their conversation. It is this ability to maintain your focus that will not only differentiate you from your competition; it will win you more dates.

by Robert Torrey

Robert Torrey is one of the instructors for Fidentia a company that teaches Dating confidence. Subscribe to their free newsletter available on their website. http://www.fidentia.org



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